Induction.... SCHEDULED

I'm overdue....... GREAT. I went to the doctor on Monday morning, the day before my dute date knowing that I would be scheduling an indcution date. Which I was hoping to advoid but apparently I can't since this kid doesn't want to come out. Even all the praying, walking, swimming and even having my membranes stripped is not making her want to come out! My doctor asked me if I wanted to come in to be induced the next day, my due date. NO.... I really really want this to happen on it's own. I feel like have to give it a little more time to happen. So I scheduled an appointment for September 1st. On August 25th my due date my friend who is a ob nurse at my hospital calls me at 2000 (8:00 pm) to see if I want to come in and be induced at 2100 (9:00 pm) that night! Ah no..... I was actually thinking about it but I would have to call at least three people to arrange this type of thing. If my hubby were home I would have discussed it with him and probably did it because I wouldn't have to call all the other people. So I turned that down and agreed to come in on Friday night. I was super excited until I hung up the phone and then I was a mess. It's not going to happen on it's own.... AGAIN! I'm totally annoyed with my body because it's NOT doing what it should be, which is to get this baby out without me having to be drugged up. Wednesday night I was fine with it. This morning I'm just frustrated! As crazy as it sounds this is part of the reason for waiting 6 years to have another kid, I did not want to have this dissappointment again. I know that a lot of people don't think it's a big deal to be incuded but I DO! It's not what I want. I have always wanted a natural birth and it's not going to happen. It happens for others but not for me. People are like you still end up with a healthy baby in the end be happy. I will be happy...... smiling on the outside and feeling like I failed yet again on the inside.